Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
