can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
