i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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