we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
