WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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