you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
