he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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