The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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