Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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