apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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