forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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