Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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