Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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