you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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