My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
