If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
this hospital has no fireball
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
