me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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