i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
