you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
