ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
