She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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