Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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