thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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