In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
