But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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