Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
