nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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