Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
