What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
