i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
