she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've blown a few things in my day
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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