I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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