Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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