ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
