Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize