I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
