I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
