great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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