First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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