Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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