I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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