hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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