How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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