What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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