@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
