I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize