'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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