We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
