hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
