we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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