It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
