whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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