I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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