um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
