I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize