if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
